Prior to entering SOCL, I thought I had already been living a life of a disciple and majority of my life’s problems and inner wounds had already been healed. I thought that I was a good servant who did his daily Catholic duties, oh how wrong I was. Moreover, I had experienced a season of confusion and was utterly lost where God was leading me. Despite claiming to read so much about the Lord, I felt abandoned and had no idea where He was leading me.
However, Jesus truly met me where I was even when I had glorified the experience of God, rather than God Himself. Jesus revealed to me that I had prided myself in my identity as a servant who does everything well and can boast of his achievements, instead of a beloved child of the Most High. But Jesus ran after me, gave me the warmest hug, and told me “Stop being a servant. Start being a son.” Slowly, Jesus opened the doors of my closed heart and reached to its deepest depths with His divine love and light. As such, all the confusions I had about where He was leading me started to fade away, and I was filled with immense love knowing that He will continue to lead me everyday as long as I abide in Him.
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Today, I claim the truth that I am always loved and I need not put on masks to hide my inadequacies, for God truly uses these weaknesses and uplifts me with all the plans He has for me. I’ve learnt truly that there is nothing greater than feeling loved by the greatest lover there ever is out there and responding with a sincere heart.
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St John Paul II says: “Be not afraid. Open wide the doors for Christ”. My dear brothers and sisters, will you allow the Lord to open wide the doors of your heart, not as his servant, but as His child of the Most High?